Sunday, February 21, 2010

Top 10 (+ 1) Signs You May Be Working in Tracy

11. Your boss has a 3 martini lunch – for breakfast

10. The Great Plate is considered fine cuisine and social centre of the town

9. The air smells like the local dairy

8. The head of HR is voted worst boss in the nation and proudly vows to live up to the title

7. The townspeople unite to rally agains $3 ticket service fees

6. The townspeople unite to “Bring back the Bean”

5. There is a town parade almost every day

4. City employees with inflated egos think they’re on “Dynasty”

3. Hard work is frowned upon, shattering lives is not only encouraged but rewarded

2. Your boss thinks any day she can bring her employees to tears is worthy of another martini

and the number one sign you may be working in Tracy:

1. If you can’t find it, it’s behind the hunting store

Stuart Manning

Hunky British Actor

Top 10 Signs You Need A New Boss

Time for another 'David Letterman-esque" Top 10 list, sadly based on my reality

10. Your boss thinks making her town car reservation is an employee benefit

9. “Working from home” is code for “Woke up in the gutter after another all nighter with Whitney ”

8. Your boss thinks employee recognition is knowing who she is after she spends the night getting a
spray tan

7. Several co workers all ready have their suits pressed for her memorial

6. She has repeatedly proven your suspicions that she suffers from hallucinations

5. She was barking during a meeting – again

4. The only emails she responds to contain the words Tom Collins and Grey Goose

3. Your boss has sided with the Republicans in preventing you from receiving healthcare

2. When it comes to leadership abilities, she has a long standing rivalry between Bugs Bunny and George of the Jungle

and the number one sign you need a new boss:

1. The local sanitarium keeps asking for her by name