Sunday, February 22, 2009

Top 10 Reasons to be a Flight Attendant.

Even though what I'm saying is true, it's meant to be humourous, think 'David Letterman Top 10' when you read it.

Number 10:
Learn New Languages - I can now shop at Wal-Mart with ease in Brooklyn, Alabama and Texas.

Number 9:
Great Volunteer Opportunity - You can work 12 hour days but only get paid for 6.

Number 8:
Save Money on Gas - Your social life consists of email, texts and instant messaging.

Number 7:
You Read More - Constantly getting text massages that read "We miss U wish U were here Biff says hi!"

Number 6:
Make New Friends Everyday - Your close friends have given up on ever seeing you again and replaced you with a blow up doll named Biff.

Number 5:
You Meet Celebrities - A.K.A people with jobs that don't suck.

Number 4:
New Ways of Earning Money - I'm thinking Colombian Drug Lord sounds appealing, better pay and I can set my own hours.

Number 3:
Minty Fresh Breath - You can no longer afford alcohol so you take a keen interest in mouthwash.

Number 2:
You Miss Every Get Together - Now you can use the money you would have spent on more mouthwash.

and the Number 1 reason for being a Flight Attendant:
Weight Loss - You can't afford food, but who needs to eat when you've always got the flu anyhow!


Monica said...

Ok I am dying laughing! Your blog was so funny, BUTTTTTTT so true! Love you!

Rose said...

Ohhh...noooo...I am sorry your job sucks, but this laugh was just what I needed right now!!

Robert said...

Oh my god! I'm doing the settlement while I eat, and I just spit most of it out onto the computer while laughing! Hilarious! I will never be able to use mouthwash again without thinking about you.

Steph said...

I don't mean to laugh at your pain except, well, yeah I do because this is seriously funny shite!

I'm sorry the job isn't working out the way you had hoped.

Angie said...

Holy crap that was hysterical Steele. I guess if we can't laugh at ourselves what good is it to have a crappy job! Love you honey.

Aida said...

steele my dear your blog is too funny!!!! but let me tell ya... I think we only get payed 3.5 hours for a 12 hour dutty period ;) living the life!!!LOL!!!

Giuliano said...

Hahaha, loved your top 10!!