Say What?

When did D.L. Hughley become a CNN host?? I missed that one. Will George Lopez be hosting The Today Show next?

Two blocks in L.A.

I'm on layover at LAX and went for a short walk, literally, two blocks, and in that time I saw a man playing "chicken" across six lanes of traffic with his Taco Bell bag, because he apparently thought that was a better option than the crosswalk. He didn't get it, so watching him run all over the place with cars honking at him was rather humorous. Idiot. It was 7pm, but night nonetheless, so the "girls" were out. The "girls"? The prostitutes okay! Like the ones Samantha had a feud with, and then partied with on 'Sex and the City'. The best was the old man in the electric wheelchair that saw apparently one of his enemies in the liquor store, he turned that chair on full blast and mowed the guy over! Shouted some obscenities at him and then took off. Why was I in the liquor store? You try working a couple of flights from JFK and LAX - you'd need a drink too! It was either that or go to that overpriced restaurant I referred to back in October for the mini $13.00 cosmo.

My First Flight Celebrity

My first onboard celebrity was Edward Burns. My first official flight (not a test or a observation flight) was from JFK to San Francisco and Ed Burns and family were up in first class. I am happy to report he is very, very nice. He was very cool to us onboard and he was very good with his kids. He was a pleasure to have onboard!

You Want What?!!?

Apparently ordering just a salad in VA is unheard of. At least near Dulles airport. My friend Junice and I went to the mall before our flight home that evening and really wanted a salad. The Mall Directory was odd, only listing the anchor stores, Nordstroms, Macy's, Lord & Taylor etc, so we asked in Nordstroms, where Junice purchased some lipstick, where in the mall is a salad restaurant. The saleslady looked us in awe and finally replied: You want a restaurant that serves nothing but a salad? There's nothing like that." We were both like, ummm, okay, Fresh Choice? Sweet Tomatoes? We finally found the food court, which had nothing but fried foods and Taco Bell. We couldn't do it. We did find a restaurant that had salad....but they found it odd that I didn't order pasta as well.

Sorry for the Hiatus

I know it's been a few weeks since I've had time to write anything. I've been in training since Nov 10th....some pretty intense training. Between homework, some days 5 hours of drive time and not getting enough sleep, I've had no free time. Well, training is over, and hopefully I'll be writing more. Does anyone even read this??

"It takes a lot more time to not be nice, than to be nice." Ed McMahon, GMA Weekend, 11-30-08

San Francisco: I love you, I hate you, I love you, I hate you...

One thing really became clear to me this week. I have a definite Love/Hate relationship with San Francisco. Ah, the waterfront, the convenience, the entertainment possibilities, happy hour with friends, so many dining options no matter if I'm in my ripped jeans or Calvin Kelin suit and the best part, choose your mode of transportation: BART, Muni, taxi or walking - you can be anywhere in the City in 15 minutes! Options, options, options! Ugh, the filth, the noise, the beggars, the stench. Parking. I nearly went out of my mind this week looking for parking. It actually took me an hour and 15 minutes one evening to find a parking spot 7 blocks away. Yes, I know I can go to a garage, but, like many people, I can't afford $15 to $20 a night for parking. Don't even think about trying to sleep without ear plugs. Sirens, honking, the cable car, the people upstairs, down the hall, even in the next building, because it is after all San Francisco, the buildings are about a centimeter apart, with walls as thick. Close the window in the bathroom or half a dozen neighbors can watch you shower - which, could be a good thing if it's the right neighbor I suppose.

As I write this, I realize I have a Love/Hate relationship with the suburbs. Peace, quiet, more than one room to live in, a driveway and a garage, backyard, no piss on my doorway and nobody begging me for my hard earned change, which I don't have enough of for myself, let alone to hand out. No happy hour, everyone lives too far away, don't see friends very often, oh it's such a trek to get home if we see a show in the City and we don't get home til Midnight or later, so it's gotta be a weekend matinee, spend an hour on Hwy 4 to go 10 miles, it's 30 to 45 minutes to BART.

So there you have it. The City, the Suburbs. It's a tie. My choice: a tropical island. In the meantime, if you're in the city and the noise is getting to you...step out the door, it's happy hour, everywhere, have a drink!

Sunday Mornin' Coming Down

Last week is over. Next week will begin tomorrow. I've been away from home in training, testing, spending an hour to find a parking spot for the night. It's Sunday morning, I'm waking up in my own bed, looking forward to Good Morning America Weekend, the Sunday paper and cup of coffee. My own coffee. I decide to mix double dutch chocolate and french vanilla - oh I can't wait. I prepare the coffee pot, mix my beans, pour them into the grinder...ziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip and zonk. Zonk? No, no zonk. I need ziiiiiiip. Zonk doesn't grind the beans. Zonk doesn't give me the Sunday morning I've been looking forward to all week. I've got the dvr on pause, ready to hear the latest headlines. The paper is on the couch, waiting to be read. My computer is powered up, ready for me to read my 100 emails (55 of them junk) from the past week, the cats are in place.....zonk. I have a coffee pot curse on me. At least once a year the coffee pot just falls apart, no matter how cheap or how expensive it is, after a year, something falls apart. The heat unit goes out, the coffee goes on the floor instead of in the coffee pot, and I'm covered on this. There's a Mr. Coffee from the friggin' 1970's that still works, NO PROBLEM! This is a new one. My grinder has never teased me and let me down. Frantically I start plugging the grinder into every outlet, just in case. No luck. I get out the nut chopper and run the grounds through that for five minutes. The coffee comes out so/so - just not ground enough. Fortunately I have a decaf pouch taken from a hotel room and I brew 3 cups of that, and mix it with my real coffee, so I can at least drink it. Now I sit down with my almost what I wanted coffee, put the tv on play, and there GMA is teasing me with a story on Antigua. I've been to Antigua. I love the Caribbean and would rather be on a island than in this asphalt jungle - but please, please, don't tease me like that after I've just had coffee trauma!

Something Fun!

Question:

What Broadway shows have you seen?
What was the last one you saw?
Did you see any in New York?
Try to remember, make a list here! Don't include local productions of shows.


I've seen:



Phantom of the Opera (most recent)
Wicked
9 to 5
White Christmas
700 Sundays
The Exonerated
The Lion King
42nd Street (on Broadway!)
Lestat
Rent
Mambo Kings
Lennon
Legally Blonde
Mamma Mia
The Light in the Piazza
Edward Scissorhands
A Chorus Line
Peter Pan
Hairspray
Dame Edna
Big River
Movin' Out
Take Me Out
Fosse
(Gay) Swan Lake (all male version)
Cats (painful)
Little Shop of Horrors
Evita
Annie
Avenue Q
Chicago
The Color Purple
Jersey Boys
Little Shop of Horrors

Keith Olbermann on Prop 8

I just gained a lot of respect for this man that I didn't know much about.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4xfMisqab8

Driving is Serious People!

I've seen a lot of stupid drivers this week, but this one leaves me speechless, this woman was driving on the Bay Bridge, eating a bowl of cereal. A BOWL OF CEREAL! What the @#$# is up with that!? No wonder it takes 3 hours to get anywhere with idiots like that out there causing accidents. Then there was this bitch who wouldn't merge properly on the Bay Bridge. The lanes all merge in a zipper pattern once you've passed through the toll, as the lanes come together, drivers merge in a zipper pattern, unless you're this stupid bitch who under no circumstances was going to let a car in front of her. Oh hell no, even it requires an accident, no car was getting in front of her. I admit, I get pissed at this a**holes out there, I wouldn't let her change lanes later as part of her punishment for being an f*ing hoe-bag skank. Don't even get me started on the one's I see applying make up as they drive 65 mph. God help us all.

Isn't it Interesting....

How churches preach tolerance and love thy neighbor....unless it's not what they want. Then Jesus, love and that goes out the window. Ya, you know who you are.

It's A Sad Time in History

In a time where unemployment is at it's highest rate in 14 years, when world hunger, lack of clean water, disease, starvation, global warming, the slaughter and extinction of plant and animal species and war, I find it absolutely disgusting that the majority of voters in California were able to unite in approving discrimination. All of you people out there who voted yes, you voted to take away rights of other people. OTHER PEOPLE. You voted for ignorance. You voted for disrespect. You voted for inequality. You voted for shame.

WOOO HOOO!!

Presidential Election 2008

No matter how you feel, how you vote, no matter who wins, history will be made this election. Either we get the first black man, or the first woman. History happens today.

I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!

BBC has so many great programs! This show gives me my weekly dinosaur fix!

Is it over yet?

I'm so sick of hearing about "Joe the Plumber" - enough all ready! Shut up!

PROP 8 IS ALL ABOUT DISCRIMINATION

I think if I hear one more 'yes on 8' ad I'm going to POP OFF! This vote is asinine. Would the people of California put brining slavery back to a vote? Hell No! Would the people of California vote on taking the vote away from women? Hell No! Would the people of California vote on making interracial marriages null and void? Hell No! So why why why do people find it necessary in the friggin' 21st Century need to vote on allowing gays to have rights. Oh my god. If that damned law passes I'm leaving this idiotic state. Hear that John, you're moving out of this hell hole like it or not! I'm not staying in a place that votes I'm not a citizen like everyone else. While we're at it, let's vote on straight marriages! Why dont' all the gays complain about being taught about straight marriage in school!!!! What do you say to that California? HUH! WHAT DO YOU SAY!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU SAY YOU MORONS WHO SAY YES ON 8!!!!!!!!! Ya, you say that's not right don't you!! WELL HELLO !!!!!!!! FAIR IS FAIR SO LETS VOT ON YOU MOTHER F*ERS!

And if you need to know what popping off is, look up Tanisha on You Tube!

Mexico Part 3

Our next port was Puerto Vallarta. I'm sad that I didn't get to see PV, as we decided to have a beach day, so we'll have to go back and see the town! We spent the day at a first class private spot on the beach, equipped with snorkeling, kayaking, a cooking class, a buffet for a king and a cute little dog.




We had a 45 minute speed boat ride to our hideway, "discovered" by John Huston, when he filmed 'Night of the Iguana' with Elizabeth Taylor. No, he didn't discover it, but he made it known to the U.S., helping make PV a tourist attraction. (The same happened in Acapulco after Sinatra and others "discovered" it.) This beach spot is set up to hold 150 people comfortably, with only 25 of us, we again reaped the benefits of vacationing in September! Normally a 90 catamaran ride is taken to this spot, so by cutting the travel time in half, we got an extra 90 minutes there! We of course snorkeled, swam, drank, took part in the paella cooking class, and of course, in eating the paella! I would love to see this place at night. There is no electricity there, the place is lit up at night by torches and hundreds of candles and the cooking is all done over open flame. There is a theatre, as they do night dinners and shows there, a must see when I can return.
Oh, there's a WalMart and a Sam's club right near the port....seems wrong.

We found a rock covered in crabs of all sizes, I enjoyed watching them all move around for a while. The water was clear, so I was able to keep watch on my ankles as well!

Our next port was Cabo San Lucas. Again, I need to go back and see Cabo. We did the Dolphin Trainer for a Day here. This was 6 hours of pure delight. The place was not crowded, there were only 4 of us on the excursion, so we got a LOT of extra time playing with our dolphins! We spent some time with the birds, were outfitted with hats, shorts and shirts we were able to keep, taught training commands, fed, swam, danced and played with the dolphins all day. We had an excellent lunch, cooked by a chef, not just a sandwich as we had anticipated! I kind of want to be a dolphin trainer after that!!! The center was right on the pier, so we had time to grab a couple of souvenirs and a two beers before boarding the ship for the last time.

We had another two glorious days at sea, first class treatment, new friends, great entertainment and amazing food before we had to get off, let other people have our room, our butler, our concierge..but not our memories!

Mexico Part 2

Our fourth day was another day at sea. Day five was Acapulco! This was our longest stay at a port, we were there from 8am until 12:30 am, allowing us time to do three excursions. In the morning we went to the Petroglyphs, which have been dated to 2,500 BC, before the Aztecs or Mayans. We had a great hike to the top of the mountain, overlooking Acapulco Bay.



After the historical part of the excursion was over we had a snack a great little Mexican restaurant. The place stopped at reminded me a lot of the places I used to frequent in Brazil, I felt right at home and was pleased that my Spanish was coming back to me when I needed it. It was buried back in my brain after all!

We had time go back to the ship and clean up before our midday sail around Acapulco Bay. The driver educated us a bit on the history of Acapulco while we sailed the bay. Following the 2 1/2 trek, we went back to the ship, for cocktails and clean up again for our night excursion. The first part of the excursion took us to one of the top ten restaurants in Acapulco (I wish I could remember the name of it!). The restaurant was right on the bay; the atmosphere, service, presentation and food were all exquisite. I had the best sea bass I've ever had there! After dinner the bus took us to see the famed Cliff divers. It's not a long show, but it's breathtaking. How these guys dive off these cliffs, some backwards, is beyond me! The guide said there have never been any deaths in the 85 year history, but there have been two people blinded, one guy lost his hearing, lots of broken bones, and one or two people left paralyzed. I don't want a desk job, but, that may be too extreme!

Our next port was Ixtapa/Zihuatanejo. Zihuatanejo, a small port town, very charming, is the actual town in the area, Ixtapa is tourist area, with First class hotels. We didn't go to Ixtapa, but merely saw it from a hilltop. We chose to do the canopy adventure. We had such a great time last year in St. Lucia, we had to do it again in Mexico. This one was very different, in addition to the standard zipline, we also had tightrope-like walking, dangling triangles to pass through and other unique obstacles. We also had to keep a close eye out not to kick any wild ostrich in the head as we flew by! After the adventure is over, the staff load you up with some excellent tequila! I'm not a tequila fan at all, so for me to say the tequila was excellent, means, the tequila was excellent. After our canopy adventure was done, we had time to walk around Zihuatanejo before returning to the ship. Sadly, this stop was a short one, we had to be back on ship at 1:30pm. Nevertheless, we had time for another great authentic Mexican meal. Enormous $3.00 margarita's, that were very good! I'm not a margarita fan either, but, I like the real thing, not the Americanized stuff. Another thing I learned on the trip was that I like Mexican corn tortillas. I hate those color added rubber things that are passed off here as corn tortillas. In Mexico they are very light and tasty, and not artifically colored, so they are a pale yellow, almost white.

Mexico Part 1

I wrote three extensive emails to one person, and decided to publish them on here, as my Mexico Cruise recap for anyone interested to read, rather than retyping it over and over. Hopefully I've caught all the personal email references and taken them out. I mainly highlight the ports, and don't really touch on the five days at sea at all.





If you ever get the chance, you must take a cruise. Some people hate it, I don't know why!, but I just love it. It's a great way to see multiple places and not keep packing and unpacking! It's like two vacations in one, you have your port time and your sea time.

This cruise left from San Francisco - which was so convenient. No airports! This cruise we were on NCL. I won't say it was better or worse than Royal Caribbean, they offer different things and are rewarding in their own way.

Because we were in a suite, we got the first class treatment all the way, from the time go stepped onto the sidewalk until we left. We were able to wait in a special area, with snacks and beverages until it was time to board the ship, and we were the first four onboard. That was kind of fun! NCL greets their guests with champagne or a mimosa when you first board. We were escorted to our rooms, where a complimentary bottle of champagne was waiting, chilled in a bucket. Our room was dead center, at the front of ship, which was awesome! I loved seeing where we going, watching the ship dock at each port, passing under the Golden Gate and so on. Now I'm spoiled, and don't ever want to be anywhere else on a ship again! We were also under the ship's bridge, so there was nothing to keep us awake at night! I had some friends take a cruise last year and they were under the karaoke bar, kept away all night by people attempting to sing!

Our first two days were at sea, which was great, because it felt like we got to relax and enjoy the ship this time. Last year we had one day at sea and didn't get to enjoy the ship at all. Our first port was Mazatlan. We took an excursion that lead us an hour away to El Quelite. This is a great colonial style Mexican village. It was very much "old Mexico" with the cobblestone streets, the detailed and colorful buildings, clean and friendly. We took the ATV adventure. I had never been on an ATV before, and took to it like a bird to flight. Some people were a bit afraid of the ATV's, but I loved it!! September is a great time to travel, because all the vacationers are basically done, which means, less crowds and more time at things - like on this excursion. During the busy months the group is divided, because there are only 10 ATV's; we were lucky, with the number of people not driving, but riding on the back, we had the exact number covered and were all able to go out together, giving us a longer adventure! I was in the back of the group, the perfect place to be. I could hang back a little, allowing the group to get a head of me, then hit the gas and go for a real ride! The ride itself was fantastic, we went out into the country on a dirt road, lined with gorgeous flowers, trees, beautiful countryside, horses and literally 1,000's of butterflies that grew larger the further into the countryside we went. We stopped at a small village for a beverage and a tortilla, then headed back into town. When we arrived, the entire troop was covered in dirt! We were a mess!!! But all smiling! We had a small meal at a local restaurant that I would love to have here! We dined in a beautiful open air bar space, had a friendly poodle and a parrot to keep us all company while we drank our Negro Modelo's and ate our tacos - which are nothing like the crappy Americanized versions we have here. We had a scenic ride back to the ship, where we found a nice spread of cheese, crackers and chocolate covered strawberries in the room to enjoy before dinner! That is, after the best shower I ever had!!! The tub was orange when I was done!!!

Pinot Grill, Downtown Los Angeles

If you're going to Los Angeles, pack your bags...your grocery bags that is. You will be hungry before you reach your destination. On a recent weekend jaunt to L.A. my co-horts Jennifer and Jennifer (yes) thought it would be nice to have dinner before seeing 9 to 5: The Musical and have a nice affordable dinner out beforehand. The show started at 8pm, we had to travel 15miles, that's 15 miles, so we left at 5:30, allowing plenty of time to get there, and find a reasonable dining locale. Our first mistake was not leaving at 2pm to travel, once again, only 15 miles from the hotel to the theatre. Our second mistake was not packing a picnic lunch for the incredible journey on which we were about to embark. Literally, it took 90 minutes to go, again, I must repeat the distance, because it's so insane, 15 miles. On a Saturday!!! SATURDAY!! I think we devoured all the crumbs in the car before we arrived. Okay, side bar, you're probably wondering why we were so hungry, we just drove from Northern California. Back to the story, at this point in time, there are only two places close enough for us to be seated and eat, both right there at the theatre. I don't remember the name of the once place we walked into, but we didn't have time to take out a loan for soup, so we went back upstairs to the Pinot Grill.
We were seated right away. If there hadn't been gale force winds, the setting would have been great, outside near a fountain, under the stars of the warm Los Angeles night. Our server was both nice and entertaining. The server assistants were friendly and nice to look at. I ordered a Cosmo. The smallest, most expensive Cosmo I've ever had. It was $13 (with Grey Goose) and came in one of those half-size martini glasses. I wanted to ask if I could have the other half with dinner. Next we had to decide what to eat. We should have known by all the $17 hamburgers being served that that was our best bet. Jennifer, not to be confused with Jennifer (hee hee) ordered a bowl of soup, for like, $10, since she didn't get an overpriced half-size cocktail. She said it was good, but not $10 good. Jennifer and I ordered the skirt steak, the $27 skirt steak, key word, skirt steak...$27...other Jennifer ordered the $25 salmon. When the server assistant brought our skirt steaks out and called it a hamburger, for which he apologized, stating he's been serving hamburgers all day, that should have been our second clue. Frankly, the food was just not worth the price, $7.99 would have been more appropriate. The skirt steak was overcooked and somewhat tough and Jennifer said her salmon was just okay. That was honestly the most overpriced, overcooked, worst meal I have ever had. A Lyon's or Denny's should open down there, they'd very well! Until then, my recommendation: unless you give yourself a good half day lead, don't eat at Pinot Grill, do pack a lunch and a flask.

Zihuatanejo, Mexico.....how everyday should be

The sign on the lawn...

I walked outside today and across the street a neighbor has a YES ON 8 sign on their lawn. I got a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach. It's a strange feeling to know that someone living across from you thinks you are less than human and do not deserve the same rights as they do. I wonder if the blacks and the Indians of years past had a similar feeling in their stomachs. Some people just need a good swift kick in the a$$! Dear neighbor, how dare you say I don't have the right to marry. How dare you.

Gone to Mexico!

Time to relax, clear my head and start over. Again.

Why do mean people always seem to run things anymore? Why do two bitches like Linda and Elyssia get to terrorize the Finance Dept in Concord? Why does a stupid bitch who doesn't have clue get to make my friends cry in another city job and it's completely acceptable? Why do these witches enjoy hurting people? Why can't a hard worker who just wants a decent life and fulfill some goals and dreams just get a chance without some f-ing prick stomping them into the ground? Yes I'm upset. I'm pissed for me. I'm pissed for my friends. Why is it not only known, but allowed and tolerated? Why is it acceptable for a manager to be a monster? WHY!!!!

Dear A&F,

Please please please please bring back my favourite cologne, 'Woods'. This is the perfect scent! I love it! I've been hoarding my last 1/4 of a bottle for three years now, down to my last few squirts. This is the only scent I've had where strangers have come up to me on the street and said I smell great. Please! Bring back 'Woods'!! PLEASE!

Classic Crystal

My 4th Crystal Gayle concert did not disappoint. The first two times I saw her I was 15 years old, in Tahoe. Then I saw her in 2000 in Reno. Last night I saw her perform at the beautiful Gallo Center in Modesto. Crystal still performs her classic songs with that soothing voice that brought her to the top of the charts with such hits as "Why Have You Left The One You Left Me For", "River Road" and the timeless classic, "When I Dream". I've noticed as the years go on, she gets a little more jazzy, which works with the format of her show. Her sax/horn player 'Blue Jay' is amazing. Her sister Peggy Sue, while hard to understand when singing, continues to provide the comic relief of the evening. Last time I saw her show, she signed autographs and posed for pictures. The Gallo Center holds over 1200, so I knew she wouldn't do so this time, and left my camera at home. WRONG! While the hundreds of concert attendees filtered out, I got in line to purchase a CD I didn't know about when it first came out, and heard someone say they're trying to figure out her signing autographs now. So I stayed. She did come out for photos and autographs. By this time nearly everyone was gone, so there wasn't a wait at all and I got the cd signed. On a footnote, Colin Raye opened the show. I of course, had heard of Raye, but was not at all familiar with him - he put on a good show. He has lots of energy. I expect this concert is the final performance in the "Sprummer" of music. It was a classic end to my self proclaimed music series.

BART

Okay, so what's the deal with BART proposing fare increases during peak travel times. After reading the articles in the Chronicle and the CC Times, it sounds like they want to DISCOURAGE people from using public transit. Yes, the trains are overcrowded. I've had to stand from Civic Center all the way out to Walnut Creek in the past. Hey, here's an idea: add another car to the train.

Backwoods Barbie: Different Everywhere!

I hope this is not a new trend in CD's. I purchased 'Backwoods Barbie' at Target, because the Target version has two live Bonus Track, 'Jolene' and 'Two Doors Down'. The iTunes version has 'I Will Always Love You'. Score! Got all three. I'm at Best Buy the other day and I don't even know why I looked at it, but their version has 'Baby I'm Burnin''. So I get on line and check WalMart, their version has '9 to 5'. Gee wiz! Can't we just have a version out there with a bonus cd of live tracks!

Dolly, Delightful!

It almost seems silly to write a post now, but I do want to mention that the 'Sprummer of Music' continued with Dolly Parton at the Greek Theatre on Tuesday, August 5th. The first surprise was an ugrade from our lawn seats to an actual seat, much closer! There was no opening act, just slightly more than two hours of pure Dolly! She sang a wonderful combination of songs from the new CD and Dolly standards. My only Dolly-Downer was when she sang 'Little Sparrow', from her bluegrass stint - a song that seemed to go on and on. I wish she would have replaced it with 'Think About Love' or 'Potential New Boyfriend'. Dolly dazzled in her high-high heels, played a sparkling violin and other instruments that a hunky "hillbilly" in overalls brought to her as needed, she told jokes as good as any comedienne, and of course, gave the obligatory, you are the best audience that I'm sure they all hear! Dolly closed the first half with a fantastic gospel medley that included Neil Diamond's 'Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show', I've always loved her version. Dolly opened the second half, in a red dress, with another favorite of mine, 'Baby I'm Burnin''. One could tell the night was coming to an end when 'Here You Come Again', '9 to 5', 'Islands in the Stream' and of course, 'I Will Always Love You' rounded out the set. Dolly closed with 'Jesus and Gravity'. I wish I could remember all the songs she performed, but she also included: 'Backwoods Barbie', 'Shinola', 'Drives Me Crazy', 'Better Get To Livin', 'Coat of Many Colors', and 'Why'd You Come in Here Lookin' Like That'.

Lack of postings

There haven't been any postings as of late because my computer is either very ill, or dead. We'll soon see.

Saturday Morning Randomness

I have a six figure salary if you count the decimal point....

Why does the freeway have pay tolls....

I love my job if that I love not being there counts....

Why do the morons and evil people get all the high paying positions....

Days of Our Lives sure has gotten boring....

Why are there no good movies for months and now I want to see SIX....

Why does the tallest person in the city always get seated in front of me....

Why do I keep watching Days of Our Lives when it's been boring all year....

Why don't any of my friends live in walking distance anymore, I miss that....

How come a bad cold makes you feel like you've got a hangover, with none of the fun of getting there....

I want Lynda Carter and Bernadette Peters to record a duet....

I've been sick for a week, and I really want a Cosmo!

I wonder what Drew Barrymore is doing right now....

How do I get a travel show? I'd be an excellent host. Travel Channel, hey, it's me, Steele, South America, great pair here...

You Got A Dame

Last night I made my first foray to the Symphony. Okay, the catch was Bernadette Peters was performing wth the SF Symphony, but still - it was the Symphony. First I have to say what a beautiful building! I had no idea it was so huge inside. I don't know how many people the facility holds at capacity, but the layout obviously leaves not a bad seat in the house. Well, unless there's a performer. There are seats behind the stage, which are great for a musical performance, last night they saw Miss Peters' rear most of the night. There aren't many venues where one actually gets dressed up to go out for an evening - the Symphony is definitely one of these rare occasions. During the "intermission" ( I say this lightly because there was a conductor led musical performance of five songs before Miss Peters began her portion of the evening), I enjoyed a glass of champagne from the balcony terrace, enjoying the beautiful summer night in San Francisco and admired the design on top a building that I've only viewed at ground level in the past. They just don't make buildings like they used to. Following her overture, yes, she had an overture!, Miss Peters came out and delivered an evening of spectacular song and performance. She brought the house down with a one woman performance of a song from 'South Pacific', I don't know the exact title, but "You Ain't Got A Dame" is usually performed by the men in the show, her take was spectacular. She even came down to the audience and nearly gave an older gentleman a heart attack has she sang ON him. MIss Peters followed "Dame" with a great rendition of "Fever", sprawled out over the Grand Piano. I knew the performance would be fantastic, but until you've seen her in person, you don't have a concept of what a powerhouse voice she really has! The 90 minute performance certainly left me wanting more.

More Flags, More Fun! SHUT UP!

This by far has got to be the most annoying commercial I have ever seen in my life! I turn the sound off when I'm watching live tv. I can't hit the forward button fast enough when watching shows on the dvr. This guy comes on screaming at me in broken English. He's the most irritating person since Gilbert Godfried. Six Flags, Marine World, I can honestly say this ad campaign is the single reason I have NOT and will NOT be going this year! While I'm complaining, we could you drop the whole Six Flags thing and go back to Marine World, Africa USA. Oh hell, for this guy screaming at me, you've earned it:

Dear Marine World,

FU


Sincerely,

Gardenia & Woods

All Juiced Up!

I had to avoid all the obvious puns for the title: 'Angel of the Cornfield', 'Queen of Corn', 'The Sweetest Corn' and so on. What am I talking about? Juice Newton performed at the Brentwood Corn Festival this past Sunday! While the venue was not stellar, the performance didn't miss a beat. Juice can still belt out songs like 'Angel of the Morning' and 'Break it to Me Gently', even at a venue where most of the people appeared to be in a corn-induced-trance, staring off into space, not appreciating what this outstanding singer/musician had to offer. With an unresponsive crowd, save for me and the woman in front of me, Juice put on a full 90 minute concert performing classic hits like, 'Queen of Hearts', 'The Sweeting Thing', 'Love's Been A Little Bit Hard On Me', and newer foot stompers like 'Red Blooded American Girl' and 'They Never Made it to Memphis'. Juice continued to make jokes and speak to the lack luster crowd, showing was a true and gracious performer she it. I thought the show might be shortened fro the venue or because of the crowd, but it wasn't. After the concert Juice signed autographs and graciously took photos, as she has always done when I've seen her in the past. It's been eight years since I last saw you perform, Juice, your show was like an old friend, come back to share a few tales and belt out some fine tunes.

It Works!!!

The Tide to Go Pen is awesome! I am completely amazed by this product. I've used it before for some minor things, but today, today was the Tide to Go Pen Test. I was on my way to a training class this morning - it's summer, I don't have to dress for work, so I'm wearing shorts and a white pull over shirt. I arrive at the training site, take my last swig of coffee and immediately go into a sneezing fit...leaving coffee all over the entire right side of my upper body. Great. Knowing the Pen wouldn't clear up my shirt, but hoping to at least look like less of a mess, I began rubbing the pen all over myself. It worked. IT WORKED! Sure, I walked in completely wet and practically see through in my white shirt, but after it dried - the coffee stains were gone!!!! I'm not talking a few drops, I'm talking a mouthful of coffee, from shoulder to belt. GONE!!!! This product is AMAZING! Get it! Keep it in your car!!! It's a total life saver!

Atta Girl, Kathy!

Saw Kathy Griffin last night at the Concord Pavilion - okay, okay, the Sleep Train Pavilion (what a dumb ass name), anyhow - not only does my face still hurt from laughing, but my wish came true: she made fun of Tracy!!! She made fun of Tracy - right there, live and in person, for my viewing pleasure - Kathy, I love you!!!!!

The Sprummer of Music continues.....

I started, to myself, calling this the summer of music. Then realized it started in the spring. Now I've dubbed it the Sprummer of Music. I've enjoyed some new acts, been thrilled with some known, and amazed by some not known for their musical abilities. One new discovery (for me) is Spencer Day. He put on an outstanding performance at the Rrazz Room in San Francisco - my new favorite place by the way. Not only was his singing fantastic, but his association with audience was great as well. I felt like I was sitting with on old friend, enjoying a cocktail, or two, while he performed. After the show he did a meet and greet, and signed cd's, which is always a nice touch.

My second discovery is Darren Romeo, aka, The Voice of Magic. Darren has performed on Broadway and has a singing background, but he's also a musician. Currently presented by Sigfriend and Roy, Darren put on a very unique show combining his two loves: music and magic. What the audience gets is a spectacular magic show and a concert - rolled into one. Darren sang standards, like Bobby Darin's 'Dream Lover' and some original music as well. After the show, Romeo did a meet and great as well, and was so cute when he was apologizing to me because the show was scaled down from his Vegas act to fit the Post Theatre venue. Guess I'll have to see him in Vegas someday.

My final word - check 'em out! You're in for a real treat with either one of these gentleman.

Firecracker on the 4th of July!

I couldn't wait for the 4th of July to FINALLY get here! I had these tickets to see Reba for months, months that felt like an eternity. I had seen Reba before, but felt this time I was getting my first "Reba concert". The first time I saw her she was on tour with Brooks and Dunn, so it was only a 45 minute solo set - amazing none the less - in fact, she even popped up 5 feet in front of me in the upper level at Arco Arena - what a surprise! Sadly, for my friend who came with me, he got up to get a beer at that moment - comes back and finds Reba in his seat! The second time I saw Reba, was even more amazing, it was the year she did her show as a Broadway musical - does anyone remember that? I wish it were out on DVD, so unique. I wish she'd do it again!
So, it's finally show time - I'm wondering who if anyone will open the show. I knew Melissa Peterman had opened for Reebs, earlier in the year, and was just hoping....sure enough! Melissa Peterman opened the show - and she is hysterical! I was laughing so hard. I would see Melissa Peterman on her own! Melissa kept referring to Reba as a firecracker, which was appropriate for the holiday. Finally Reba comes out, and delivers as expected. Then the next big surprise came. I expected Reba to perform 'Because of You', by herself. Nope. Kelly Clarkson came out and performed the duet with her. The audience was screaming - I remember shouting "shut up, shut up". Then Melissa Peterman came out again for some more great comedic interaction with Reba, walking out with a 3 foot high 4th of July card she made for Reba. Melissa asks Reba to hold her beer, then says "It's the Queen of Country holding the King of Beers". The whole Melissa Peterman routine was that she was stalking Reba since the show was cancelled - and they are best friends, just not the kind where Melissa knows where Reba lives, because Reba told her she doesn't need to know where she lives, she lives in her heart. This was truly the performance to see! Maybe I can follow Melissa, following Reba.....

Guest Blog #2

This is from my dear friend Angie, I found it so funny. Maybe because I remember some of this, but I had to share:

Fashion Police...You've got the right to remain hideous!!!!
For those of you who don't know...Jennifer (one of my best friends) and I used to terrorize the streets of downtown Sacramento by playing Fashion Police on
our lunch hour. It typically went something like this...we would speed down J Street in Jen's Honda, music usually blaring Elton John and Kiki Dee's "Don't Go
Breaking My Heart", Jen frantically hitting the car horn, while I hung out the window and SCREAMED WOOOWOOOWOOO...FASHION POLICE...WOOOWOOOWOOO
at unsuspecting passersby who were in violation of our strict guidelines of fashion Do's and Dont's. It sounds mean...I know. But to get a citation you had to REALLY
deserve it. I'm talking fat men in bike shorts, belly T's and knee socks. Haul him off to jail RIGHT now.

God I miss you Jen...the streets just aren't the same without us.

Anyway, though I've long since hung up my fashion handcuffs, I still find the yearning to occasionally slap them on someone for a variety of reasons. I've never
made it a secret that I LOATHE people who go to Walmart in their sloppy pj's and dirty house slippers...slogging their way down the aisle taking up ALL the room
with their mouths gaping open like some kind of dazed zombie with baby fish mouth. Ggggrrrrrrrr. There's also my genuine distaste for people who wear clothes
that they are too fat for and shoes that just don't fit or aren't worn properly. By the way...I had a yard sale this weekend and saw examples of ALL of these things
...I almost asked them to get their slacker asses OFF my lawn. If you can't be bothered to tie your shoes then wear a friggin' pair of flip flops...don't slide your feet
in to dirty white sneakers and smash down the backs with your TOO BIG feet that hang over the back edge of the shoes...and for CHRIST'S sake...PICK UP YOUR
FEET. But I digress...

All of these things are no-brainer faux pas. But what I saw at the gym the other day had me reeling. As I exited the locker room and made my way to my fave
treadmill at the gym I saw a woman who's outfit really caught my eye. Anyone who has spent any time at a gym will see a variety of ensembles. They can range
from super sporty and chic to holey t's and raggedy sweats. I'm somewhere in between as I stick to my own rule of not wearing things I'm too fat for (hence the
gym membership) and I don't want to traumatize the poor guy who gets the machine behind me. Back to the lady...now I realize that there are women who go to
the gym more to be seen than to actually work out but this woman really took the cake (not really...she was so skinny I'm sure she hasn't ate cake since banana
clips were in). There she was, daintily perched high up on the stairmaster, lightly stepping making sure not to break a sweat or ruin her makeup, hair cascading
down her bare back, and wearing...ready for this...A MINI SKIRT. Yep...a mini skirt. I thought the old man slinking as far down in his seat on the nearby stationary
bike was going to have a thrombo.

In what INSANE world does a woman get ready to go work out by donning a washcloth sized skirt and head for the tallest workout machine you can possibly
get?! The world of tramps and sluts I guess...I won't be moving there any time soon. Yes, she was very attractive and has a nice body but that doesn't mean
I want an up close and personal view of her ass cheeks while I'm walking by. If that's her way of getting attention or scoring a date then I feel sorry for her and
for all woman kind.

Fashion police verdict...guilty of public indecency and downright slutty behavior.

Moral of the story is...pj's and bedroom slippers (CLEAN ONE'S) belong at home, size 8 isn't appropriate when you're a deuce, your feet belong IN your shoes
not ON them and mini skirts are just downright sexy...when you're AT A CLUB...not when you're teetering way up high faking a workout at the gym.

This has been another insane random observance brought to you by sweetassgal!

Updates....

Wisconsin is still stalking me, but down to once a week. I have an idea Wyoming! Change your ad campaign to something like this photo here! ha ha!

Marsh Creek. Well, since I wrote the different agencies I have gotten one no reply, and two saying it was someone else's responsibility to monitor Marsh Creek. With the finger pointing, nobody is watching it, four new crosses have gone up, one with a large number 52 posted on it, and last week I spent 30 minutes just sitting in one spot, when I finally moved up, it was due to a head on, and an one overturned vehicle....

Kathy Griffin, I LOVE You!

Kathy Griffin is on the top of the list of people I'd like to meet. I just started watching the D-List this week. She's so politically incorrect. She says what she wants - which means, she's fun. I just finished watching the episode in Tracy, and I LOVE her!!!! If you know anything about Tracy, CA, then you know it's mostly full of a lot of morons and people who think they're something they're not. People complain about a $3.00 per ticket service charge! $3.00! How exciting would it be to only pay a $3.00 ticket charge!! If these people ever stepped out of the cow pasture, they'd get a clue to the real world. Now don't get me wrong, there are some VERY nice people there, I met one of my best friends there. They've all obviously lived elsewhere. if you ever find yourself driving though Tracy in hurry to get out, but need coffee, stop at Barista's - they're very nice and sane. Okay, first Kathy goes to Primrose Lane, and just starts scarfing down on the food. This was so fantastic! Why? Because they try to act like something they're not in there! They are so in the wrong town to try and be all upscale and classy. It's Tracy for goodness sake. This is the town where people abandon their stores and chase after you for two blocks to ask if you're seen their green notebook. No, really, they do. This is a town where people gossip because they have nothing else to do. Once when poor Perla Bertala or something like that sold only 12 tickets we had to "paper" to get anybody in to see her (hello, TRACY, do we KNOW about marketing to your audience??!!), well, we stopped at Primrose Lane and somebody that has something to do with that place ran and told City Council. See what I mean!!! Who runs and tells City Council about a standard theatre practice? People in Tracy do, because they have NO CLUE! Don't even get me started on why someone like this was even booked in Tracy, the friggin' Bean Festival is all the culture they know. "Bring back the bean" is what they spent 2007 shouting because the 2006 Bean Festival had no beans. Huh? Back to Kathy. The interviewer, Paul, didn't even know who she was. He did his research 5 minutes before the interview. Moron. Kim, one of the women who hosted the party, is one of the disillusioned who thinks she's in some high society, and wants to take over the Grand Theatre. You're in a cow town!!! A COW TOWN!! They gave Kathy a chicken. This is the kind of place this is!! Kathy made the best most honest comment EVER when she said, "Tracy's f***ed up man, it's f***ing scary here." SHE HAS NO IDEA!!! Then they go to the Great Plate. Owned by two of Tracy's biggest drunk jerks. It's the only place in town to go for drinks and mediocre food. I'll spare you the details on why they're jerks, that's another blog. Later she performs at the GRAND, which, for the first time since opening night, actually has people in the audience for a show, a very rare thing indeed! Trust me, I know, I spent hours and hours alone in that stuffy box office, with nobody coming until Kathy was booked and the phone rang off the hook. Okay, it was pretty busy for Tracy Our Town, but I digress....back to Kathy. Kathy thought the audience was great. It's only the second audience the Grand has ever seen!!!! Hmmm.... was this a blog on how much I now love Kathy, or how much I hate Tracy!!??

Welcome Back!

Dolly I've miss ya! After your over stayed Bluegrass stint, it's great to have you back making the Dolly Parton music I grew up loving! See you in August!