10. You work in a multi million dollar renovated theatre, but your desk is located in the hallway
9. Your work day consitently includes random dust clouds, sweltering heat and no fresh water
8. You can't even give theatre tickets away
7 .There is more than one village idiot and they can all be found working at Subway
6. You're certain you were phsyically violated by your boss' hair
5. Your boss is the only one who knows how great she is
4. Shop workers chase you down the street looking for lost items
3. If you're smart, well liked and a hard worker, you WILL be fired (see The Tracy Press, any month)
2. The only town paper makes up facts you didn't even know about yourself
and the number one sign...
1. Noteworthy visitors are not given keys to the city - they are given chickens and teenaged boys
(See My Life on the D-List)
